If you don't enjoy fart and poop humor, don't read this

Ok, this post is kind of about weight loss, sort of. I have a wonderful friend in Texas and one night we were reading info about ALLI the weight loss drug. We came upon this HILARIOUS website which takes the ALLI side effects from the official ALLI website and puts them in "laymans terms."

Here is the website: http://www.thewvsr.com/alli.htm

But, just because this gives me uncontrollable fits of laughter, I have to post a few of his alli side effects in laymans terms here - the stuff in bold is the official ALLI propaganda and the statements under each one is his translation..

"The fat passes out of your body, so you may have bowel changes, known as treatment effects.
Bowel changes. Notice how they phrase that? It means stuff will be happening the likes of which you could never have imagined. It’ll be like a daily Dean Koontz novel inside your underwear.

You may get: gas with oily spotting
You’ll be farting Wesson oil straight through your Dockers…

loose stools
and having violent chipped beef explosions...

more frequent stools that may be hard to control
all the time, with a sphincter that can no longer be counted as a friend.

Eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of these bowel changes. Limit fat intake in your meals to an average of 15 grams.
The McDonald’s Big Mac has 34 grams of fat, and the Burger King Whopper has 40. Eat either of these while taking Alli, and you’ll very likely be transformed into a diarrhea cannon."

Rigoddamndiculous Workout

Oh Wow - (I want to say something worse, but am censoring, just in case).
Josh trained me tonight. I had been warned about Josh's training, but, Damn - it was HARD! My heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest and run away! According to my heart rate monitor, I burned 681 calories. Considering I've only eaten 784 calories, that means I have only netted 83 calories today! Shouldn't the pounds be flying off at that rate?? They are just sort of crawling off, not flying - unfortunately. My tendency to demand instant gratification will get me in trouble here if I let it.

I have to say that I am SOOO impressed with not only the trainers at SWEAT but with the other people I train with - they never make me feel bad for being the slowest person and they are always encouraging me to keep going and to push myself further. Thanks everyone at SWEAT who is reading this - you really do help!

a 10 on the "Puke Scale"

Wow - what a work out. I feel like I'm talking about throwing up a lot, but here I go again. Today was off the puke chart because I actually did throw up after I got home. Whew, not a good feeling. But it sure was an intense work out. One good thing about feeling sick when I get home is that I don't want to eat! See, there's always a bright side.
I think I have lost about 7 pounds, but more importantly, my fat pants are very loose, so I get to move back down a size. YAAA. Wish me luck, I have yet another hearing tomorrow. Boy will I be glad when work slows down a bit.

Someone give me a shout out and let me know how your workouts are going, or just how you are doing.

I'm Dizzy

I didn't get to make up my Monday workout today, so I walked 2 miles instead. I am still dizzy, so I probably looked a bit drunk walking around my neighborhood. I don't know what is wrong with me - I am really dizzy for no apparent reason (no ear infection, no cold, no stuffy nose). Hope I stop feeling dizzy before my hearing tomorrow morning.

Not a good Monday

Well, I think I know why I wasn't able to push myself very hard yesterday - I was apparently getting sick.
I felt kind of weird all day yesterday, sleepy and a bit dizzy. I got sick this morning - various stomach ailments and have felt really dizzy all day. I went to work for about 20 minutes and then came back home and slept most of the morning. Won't be working out tonight. Hopefully I can make it up tomorrow night.
I hate missing work, I feel like I've missed something important. So, when I slept today, I kept having disturbing dreams about work - not restful at all. Whats the point of staying home to recoup when you worry about work all day?! Oh Well, hopefully all of the stomach stuff will be gone by tomorrow. Hope everyone else had a better Monday than me!

What a game!

Damn, Damn Damn!

Go Cards!

I think not eating Super Bowl food is going to be much harder then not eating In-n-out Burger!

I did the bootcamp today, but I feel like I didn't really push myself, I just wasn't awake enough. I'll probably take a walk later tonight just to supplement my calorie burning.

Hope y'all had a good weekend.